Tuesday, 2 July 2013

My Experiences With Grief


On the 5th December 2012 I lost my dad. He had been battling liver cirrhosis and contracted an infection known as peritonitis. After two days of strong antibiotics and dialysis we realised that we were going to lose him, we decided to switch off his life support and let him go painlessly. In the months that followed I went through a whole spectrum of emotions and feelings, I always knew that I would lose my parents at some stage, but never did I think that I would lose them at 20. Over time I've become more comfortable explaining  how I felt and how my dad's death has changed me, so I've decided to document them here. Hopefully they'll be useful to anyone going through the same thing, obviously I'm not a doctor or a psychiatrist in any way!

It's okay to cry. It doesn't matter where you are, never feel ashamed to express your emotions, so what if people stare? Chances are you'll never see them again.

Put yourself first. Live each day as it comes and only think about the present, if you want to stay in bed all day then do it, if you want to go for a walk then do it.

Take time out. Let your school/college/university know and take some time off, they will understand. If you have any work or exams coming up then make sure you fill in extenuating circumstances forms as soon as you're ready. If you work then most employers will allow you to take some time off.

Don't rush into anything. I made the mistake of rushing back to uni shortly after my dad died, which I really regret, it was too much and I became overwhelmed with stress.

Get help. It's alright to feel overwhelmed, but if things become too much, please get help. Brilliant charities such as Cruse provide expert help. Remember there is no shame in getting help if you need it.

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